Without further adieu.....
Blue Slushy
“Oooh! I’m so sick”, she says,
as she is bouncing one leg on a chair,
one on the floor and not and then on the floor again.
Okay she’s running a fever.
Okay she has to miss school.
Okay I’m going to miss my meeting because my babysitter is
unavailable.
I’m okay with that though.
She’s my baby, she comes first.
Can’t lie down, can’t sit still, can’t relax and recuperate.
“Is she really sick?” I ask myself.
I need to run errands, “Let’s go!”
She smiles. “Okay,
can I get a blue slushy?”
There’s the answer.
The Silent Treatment
You never hit
Wetness like stripes fall
Drip into regret
You never yelled at me,
Gasping air, the thud of the wall.
Memories are set.
You never lied to me
Panic breath; anxious calls.
Willing to be in your debt.
Silence is what you gave me.
Who knew that would be all -
It would take for me to flee your net.
Was It
Just A Dream?
“I never expected perfection, “ I say.
But is it true?
You were so beautiful – everything I wanted.
That those little signs – I let float by.
Too good to be true?
Sunday drives in country so green,
Smells that tickled my insides,
Moments wrapped in ecstasy.
The little things – slipped.
Slipped by, flitted in the air and
landed on the tip of my tongue.
So when you’re perfection unraveled –
I was in a panic.
Still not sure if I was right.
But now I have to be sure;
I have to be sure -
because I had to let you go.
I Think
Too Much
Slowly.
Ever so slowly.
Was I awake before?
Am I still dreaming?
“You are the one,” you say.
What does that mean?
You can pull out the inside
and put it under a microscope,
but does it really tell you anything?
anything at all?
“Yes, I must be dreaming”, I reply.
A thousand times magnified you are afraid,
I remind you of your mother,
who was abused by your father,
whose father beat him
and then he beat you too.
When does it stop?
Where do I get to see that deep down in the dark hidden
place, where we all hide?
When do I get to see that?
And do I really want to?
No, perhaps this shallow existence is better.
I smile a gleaming, sleep-laden smile in response
and decide not to think anymore.
A Little
Longer
First it hurt like hell.
I thought I wouldn’t survive you.
I thought I would die without you.
But somehow I made it through.
Then I was so sad that it was hard, everything was hard.
To get up in the morning,
To eat, to brush my hair, to smile.
Now I feel nothing and for a while I was okay with that,
But lately I want to feel again - something.
Well, anything but the pain.
Guess it’ll just take a little longer.
